Why my daughter won’t kiss you...

Baby Z won't kiss you, if she doesn’t want to.

When people force kisses onto my daughter, it makes me cringe. It’s not something I encourage.

J and I always ask Z for kisses. If she doesn’t want to give them, we respect that. This rule goes for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

Good scenario: When we are with family, I will ask Baby Z, “Do you want to give Grandma a kiss?” and if she doesn’t want to, that’s okay.

Bad scenario: If someone asks Baby Z for a kiss, and she shows that she isn’t interested, but they go ahead and kiss her anyway or say things like, “I’m going to steal a kiss then.”

1. Personal space. Baby Z might be just 16 months, but she’s already developed a sense of personal space. If she doesn’t want people in it, or doesn’t want to include others in her space for kisses at that time, that’s okay. I’ll respect it. When people force kisses on her, that’s like saying “You’re not comfortable with this, and I don’t care.”
2. Forced affection. I want Baby Z’s emotions and actions to be genuine. I don’t ever want her affection to be forced.
3. Boundaries. Much like personal space, this one has to do with comfort levels, but on a larger level. It comes down to this: I don’t ever want Baby Z to think forced kisses are okay. They aren’t. What if a stranger wants to show her affection? I want her to know that is 100% NOT OKAY and to express that she isn’t comfortable with the situation. I want Baby Z to know that it’s only okay to give kisses when both parties are comfortable.

So please, don’t ever force kisses on my daughter. Ask her. If she shows that she doesn’t want to give you a kiss, please respect her decision. 

February Financial Goal

February's goal will be simple: No buying baby items that aren't necessities for the month.

Baby clothes are cute, and hard to resist, so this will be a test of strength!

Update: January Financial Goal
My goal in January was to not spend in our work cafeteria. Although it didn't go as expected, I only spent $20 for the month. Not ideal, but I'll take it

DIY Hair Detangler

Baby Z's hair is getting long and with it's baby fineness, it tangles easily.

When researching spray hair detanglers--it hit me--I can make my own using what I already have!

DIY Detangler:

What you need:
Empty spray bottle
Hair conditioner
Water

Directions: Squirt a small amount of conditioner in a spray bottle. Fill the rest up with water. Shake, shake, shake! Now you've got your own DIY hair detangler!

January Financial Goal

Before our move, I set a financial goal each month. Now that we are settled in a bit, I plan on continuing that pattern.

January goal = No spending money on food/coffee at work

Gasp!

These goals may seem silly, but they really add up in the long term. Plus, they help set good spending habits. My financial goal for the remainder of year will vary each month.  And sometimes, it will just be a week-long goal (i.e. using pantry and freezer foods for a week instead of grocery shopping).

They're a lot of fun, so feel free to join or comment with any financial goals you might set for yourself or ideas you have for future months.

Our $900 car

This was a year ago now, but it's still an important story to tell.

In 2011, we purchased a 2012 Hyundai Accent. It was exactly what I/we wanted: 4 doors, 5-speed manual, small, great on gas and perfect for my 60-mile commute.

You know what wasn't perfect about it? The $300 car payment each month.

When we learned that I was pregnant last year, we decided it was time to get rid of the new (and pretty!) car. It was time to get serious about getting out of debt.

Selling the car to Carmax required us to pay off about $1500 extra on the car loan to make up the difference for what Carmax would purchase our car for.

We replaced the car with a 1998 Nissan Altima for $900.

Stock photo.

The Nissan has ... character. Only the driver's door unlocks with the key. The rear-driver's-side door has to be manually locked and unlocked. Sometimes, the volume on the radio goes the opposite way you think it would. The gas door has to be gently punched to open. When the car doesn't start, you just need to jiggle this section under the hood. Let's not exclude the time it was keyed.

To sum it up, it's a pretty glamorous ride.

We paid $900 for the car and about another $1000 for new tires, title transfer, registration and some minor repairs. So, $1900 plus the $1500 we had to pay off on the Hyundai.

$900 + $1000 + $1500 = $3400

Since we were paying $300/month for the Hyundai, it took 12 months of owning the Nissan to actually start banking money. That might seem like a lot, but guess what? We have been driving the car for three months beyond that and we haven't had to pay a single car payment on it, and it hasn't needed more than regular maintenance.

One debt paid off.
One step closer to becoming debt-free.

Deals 11/2

Who doesn't love a good deal? Here are a few of my favorites:

Need to send a gift? Use coupon code 31137 to get a new Fannie Mae Chocolate Card for just $5.95 shipped! Comes with a quarter-pound assortment of chocolates, a $5 reward card for the receipiant and your personal greeting!

Super chic and convenient CitySlips foldable flats and rain boots. With their current Buy More, Save More Sale, you can snag the boots for just $27.30 and the flats for a mere $14! Want free shipping, add FRSHIP at checkout.

For the flannel-loving friend in your life, pick up THREE flannel shirts for $30! You pick the size, they pick the colors. 

Need a gift this holiday season? Three bamboo mixing bowls in bold colors are just $9 with coupon code BHWELCOME! This is an amazing deal on these mixing bowls.

Save 40% sitewide at The Body Shop with code TREAT40 at checkout. Stock up on those stocking stuffers!

Hot deal on these fitness leggings for just $7.99 from Aeropostale and matching tank for just $5.99. Plus, get FREE SHIPPING when you pay with Paypal. 

Enjoy!

No TV for Baby Z

Until this week, it never struck me that Baby Z has never watched TV.

Why doesn't she watch TV?

Really, I don't know. Since we don't have cable television, I guess that's a root of the reason. But at the same time, she has so much fun exploring, playing, trying new things and getting into trouble, that we've never thought to turn on the TV for her

What do you think? Do toddlers benefit from watching TV?

Baby Z at the park.